(Three Powerful Feedback Steps)
It is my humble opinion, that, there is a lack of insightful feedback in our most of our life and business interactions and the real kicker is that this approach hardly benefits anyone!
Incidentally, I am not just talking about constructive feedback I am actually talking about feedback in general...both positive and negative (although I must say that I am uncomfortable with the term negative so I will hitherto refer to it as constructive feedback)
Why is this the case? Especially when most people will admit , if sometimes begrudgingly, that they benefit from the process of giving and receiving feedback.
Well I have a couple of theories around why it doesn't happen as often as it should, so here goes...
1. People are too concerned that the feedback will be perceived negatively by the person and result in a change in their relationship with the person (usually perceived as being for the worse).
2. What gives me the right to provide them with feedback anyway...(well it actually relates to how much you care for the person as to whether you want to give them feedback as well as how "open" you will be in the process).
3. Most people are too preoccupied with what they think will happen than actually stepping into the space and having the courage to have the discussion (there also seems to be a perception that people can forsee the future and know before they have the discussion how the whole thing is going to end...personally I don't believe they have such skills).
4. People can also be preoccupied that the discussion will negatively impact the situation as well as the relationship with the person. For example, jeopardise a promotion opportunity etc.
So given there are some reasons as to why people may not provide feedback I am about to provide you with three powerful feedback steps that will undoubtedly accomplish two major outcomes:
1. Provide you with very clear feedback.
2. Identify just how cohesive your current personal and business relationships are.
It is important to understand that I you are gong to you use this approach there are some essential "rules" around how you deliver it.
Rule 1: Always use this order. Start with what you want the person to "Keep" doing...then move to what you want them to "Start" doing and finish with what you want them to "Stop" doing.
Rule 2: Keep the conversation brief and to the point..."I want you to Keep doing this....Start doing this and Stop doing this...
Rule 3: The only thing that the receiver can say in response is "thank you" and enquire for more information if it is necessary. At no stage in the process is the receiver allowed to dispute the comments made by the individual by arguing the point. For example, how would you know that about me when you haven't worked here for longer than a year.
That is it...so if you think that you have a strong, open and positive relationship with someone an acid test is to see how a "keep, start, stop" conversation is received by you and your accomplice.
Do you have what it takes to be a powerful leader? If so, begin having some of these discussions just remember to pick your conversation targets and build them into it gently.
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